Idol Results: Put a Fork In It, Disco is Dead. Blake is barely stayin’ alive and Lakisha is going home

The pressure is on.  Who will be exiting with Chris Daughtry ringing in their ears?

The show begins with Ryan in serious mode, dressed in his CEO best.  “Picture the eyes of the country watching your every move.  Imagine being cut after coming this far.  It is happening to someone tonight.  THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL.”

A quick shout out to the judges shows Randy sporting a silvery/grayish colored shirt while Simon is his usual stylish self in basic black.  Paula, on the other hand, was all cleavage and glitter.  And she was in Simon’s seat.  Hmmmmmm.

This week in the finals has usually produced a shocker.  All the judges seemed to be in agreement that last night was a difficult night.  And – sorry – boring (MY opinion).

A rehash of last night reminded me of why I found this week to be the most unentertaining Idol this year. Melinda was technically great but lacking in personality, Blake resorted to his usual gimmickry to mask his “eh” vocals, Lakisha was just OK, and Jordin, while she kicked butt on the first song and was clearly the best overall, her second number was less than inspiring.

Next up was Ryan’s “man on the street” interviews at the Farmer’s Market.  This is what he found out:  The older generation liked Barry Gibb and knew who he was. 
Depending on whom you asked, the winner was Blake, Jordin, Melinda, Lakisha or The Lakers.

Next was a build-up to this year’s Idol tour, which is fixing to be the biggest and best yet.  “Sanjaya: live on tour.  Lock up your daughters.”  Besides Sanjaya, you’ll be able to see your favorites from this year’s top 10.  That is, of course, if Phil isn’t deployed to Iraq or other places nobody should have to be. 

Pink is up next.  I don’t know a lot of her music but I plan on checking it out.  “Who Knew?”  I like her style and her sound.  Too bad it wasn’t live.

“You Really Got Me” into a Ford.  This was one of the better ones….mainly because I liked the song.  It WAS rather amusing to see the Idols running from crazed fans in a parody of what the Beatles and other bands went through in the early sixties.

Up next was my excuse to get up and potty my pooch and get a snack: the GROUP SONG in a tribute to Barry Gibb and the BeeGees.  Enough was enough last night.

Up next we get up close and personal on the couch where the 4 Idols are awaiting their fate.  Lakisha hope that if she is sent home, she’d remember the words to her exit song and not cry.  Melinda FINALLY realized that she had to bring more (personality) to the songs.  She considered the judges’ lukewarm reception to her performances as a “wake up call.”  Blake was reminded of Simon’s comments and asked if there was anything he wanted to say to him now that he’s had time to stew about it?  “Thank you”, Blake said.    Jordin said she had to “quick hurry up and pick the songs” because she only had a couple of days to learn the words.  “But it was OK.”

More filler is next with a preview of The Fantastic Four – Rise of the Silver Surfer, the moment of glory being the appearance of Jessica Alba. So now we learn more about OUR final four:  3 of 4 are only children – Melinda, Lakisha and Blake.  Melinda was the inventor of the “afro puff.”  Blake admitted to having  “awkward years.”  Lakisha used to talk too much in school (me too) and Jordin said had to be put between 2 file cabinets in order for her to pay attention.  And here’s a big surprise:  Melinda couldn’t “ruffle any feathers.”  The emotions were kicked into high gear.  Finally, the RESULTS!  Ryan walks over to the contestants and says, “We have waited long enough but – NO – AFTER THE BREAK.”  Why is that Ryan?  “Because the network says so.”  (But I was jusssst following ordersssssss).  Besides, it makes for good dramatic reality TV.  They’re young, they’ll get over it.  In the meantime the poor kids’ insides have turned into a molten acidic mass of nerves.  But they’ll get over it.

Tuning in after the break finds the 4 finalists in a group hug. Ryan reads the judge’s impressions of the performances before sending Jordin to safety. Now the rest of the group has to wait until we hear about the newest American Idols gimmick:  finding the best undiscovered band in America.  For anyone who has ever picked up a guitar or banged the drums, send your DVD to The Band Show Castings….And now, without further adieu, please welcome the multi-faceted Barry Gibb singing “You Don’t Know What It’s Like – To Love Somebody”.  It sounded like he was having some trouble ‘pronounciating’ the words (remember Diana Ross’ addition to Webster’s Dictionary?).  I took this time to put in a load of laundry and fold the few in the dryer.

FINALLY, after the break Melinda is quickly sent to safety.  Randy is put on the spot by Ryan who asked him if he had an idea as to who was leaving tonight.  While he cleverly avoided answering the question, he did concede that it was a tough night for both Blake and Lakisha.  Simon simply cut to the chase and said he thought Lakisha would be the one serenaded out by Chris Daughtry.  Paula was teary and babbled many words of encouragement.  The moment of truth…dim the lights…after 45 MILLION votes – Blake is (insert dramatic pause here) – SAFE!  Lakisha will be leaving tonight and yes, I teared up along with her during the exit video.  Ryan thanked her for that shot of Simon in lipstick…”we’ll always have that.”  One of Idol’s classic moments.  Lakisha didn’t forget the words to her exit song.  In fact, if she had performed this well last night, Blake would be the one beat boxing his way home.  So, Blake remains the only rooster in an extraordinarily talented henhouse.  Can he keep up with Melinda and Jordin?  As we bid a long awaited FINAL FAREWELL to disco week, we are left with the ultimate question.  Who will we see in the finale?  My money is on Jordin and Melinda.  What do you think?