IDOL: AND THE WINNER IS………..

I tuned in when the red carpet extravaganza was already almost over.  Somehow watching celebrity backslapping while showing off their new (probably FREE) designer duds does not count for scintillating entertainment.  At least not for me.  So, if you were hoping for a blow-by-blow – sorry.

“This is the night we’ve all been waiting for.  Who will take the title – the Beatboxer from Seattle or the Sweetheart from Arizona?”  For the last time this year, we will hear Ryan Seacrest utter those four greatly anticipated words — THIS    IS    AMERICAN    IDOL!!!!!!!  

A shout out to the judges showed Randy wearing a black jacket decorated with what looked like old guitar straps.  Paula Ab-drool was a BLEEP vision in black and 20 pounds hair.  I’m just glad she didn’t turn her Chihuahua into rug-kill.  Simon was wearing – I swear – exactly what he had on last night.

The festivities began with a duet by Jordin and Blake singing “I Saw Her Standing There”, a Beatles classic.  It was a bit saccharine for me but they did look comfortable dancing together.  You can tell there is genuine mutual affection there.  Next up was Gwen Stefani “live”, which was actually a telecast from her concert tour and a promotion of her favorite song, “Four in the Morning”, from her new CD.  Sorry, not impressed. After the first of MANY BREAKS……the first Idol…..Kelly Clarkson singing “Never Again”.  I love her and the song. Her outfit was hot….simple black mini and f$%k me thigh-high boots.  Well done.  Watching this I couldn’t help but think of Gina Glockson.

Wow…a shot of all the celebrities in the audience.  In the front sections, of course.  I wonder where all the PAYING peons are sitting.  $250, nosebleed section anyone?

It is now time for the TOP 6 guys singing a Smokey Robinson medley, led by Smokey himself.  The beginning of the performance was lead off by none other than Sanjaya, followed by short solos by each of the other guys.  Dressed all in white, they looked like refugees from Fantasy Island.  Da plane, da plane…uh, wrong show.  Jokes aside, they sounded great.

Because Blake didn’t get to beat box on the final song, here he is in a performance with Doug E. Fresh, the original beat boxer. You could see how excited Blake was.  He was practically levitating. THIS is the Blake I like.   The problem is you can’t do this on every song.  But it was entertaining as hell.  And Blake looked like he was having a ball out there.

After the duet the Top 6 women take their turn, also dressed all it white, singing “I heard it Through the Grapevine.” Melina must be in heaven because the ladies were joined by Gladys Knight.  It was great to see Gina and Stephanie again.  Haley still gives me heartburn with her saccharine over-emoting. I loved the little by-play with Gladys, Lakisha and Melinda. And if singing with Gladys Knight wasn’t enough, Melinda was given the opportunity to sing WITH and not FOR her former lead singers (sorry, but I didn’t recognize either one. My bad)

Next up was 15 time Grammy winner, Mr. Tony Bennett singing “For Once in My Life.”  Now we are seeing a master.  I kept thinking how disappointed I was when Michael Buble’ had to take his place back in April.  A DRUNK Michael Buble’ no less.  Hoooorah.  NOT.

Throughout this extravaganza, the famous Golden Idol awards were given out to deserving recipients.  This year’s winners were:  Margaret Fowler for the Most Eccentric Audition.  Remember, she was the African American lady, fat and fifty, wearing a yellow fuzzy outfit with yellow leggings. She lifted her shirt a lot, too.  The crowning glory was when she bent poor Ryan over backward and engaged him in a very long lip lock.  C’mon Ryan, you loved it. The Most Original Vocal went to Sholandric Stallworth of the big voice.  He received his 2 minutes of Idol fame and sang a few bars of “Silent Night” on the Kodak stage. Sans microphone.  Last, but certainly not least, the Best Buddies Award, which went to Jonathan and Kenneth (the ‘bush baby’). Idol adopted an actual bush baby at the zoo and named it…you guessed it…..Simon.  Appropros.

After yet ANOTHER commercial, we were treated to a montage of the Ford commercials from the entire season.  Afterward, both Jordin and Blake were presented with brand new Mustangs.  Not bad.  Resurrecting “I’ll Stand by You” from Idol Gives Back, Carrie Underwood was the next celebrity performer.  She was gorgeous, as usual; however, I just didn’t understand her outfit.  It looked like a gown with the front cut out, worn over jeans.  A strange, but surprisingly pretty, outfit.  To round out the performance, Clive Davis awarded her a special award for selling 6 million copies of her debut album but not before he acknowledged all the previous Idols and their accomplishments.  He paid particular attention to Chris Daughtry, the biggest selling artist of the year whose album has been on Billboard’s top ten for the last 6 months and has sold over 2.5 million copies. La, La, La…..After ANOTHER break…..the African Children’s Choir put on one helluva performance. Now THEY are true Idols.  Those kids looked like they were having so much fun.  It was truly enjoyable to watch. 

And NOW…LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS….dun dun DUN….only one has had the courage….performing LIVE with Joe Perry from Aerosmith…..its Sanjaya Malakar singing “You Really Got Me.”  Oh Lordy Mae.  All those little girls wetting their Underoos.  He played the crowd, shaking hand and schmoozing the women.  Little Ashley was in the audience again, her eyes full of Sanjaya love and overflowing with tears. I think we have found the new “terror twins” – Sanjaya and Joe Perry.  Should Steve Tyler start looking for a day job?

The next celebrity performance was by Green Day singing John Lennon’s “Working Class Hero”.  I really enjoyed this, but then again, I always liked Green Day.

Another commercial (gotta pay for the air time, I guess) Taylor Hicks appeared singing his newest single “Heaven Knows”.  I can’t understand why this hasn’t done better because it is a good song.  It was nice to see Taylor hasn’t lost his “drunk uncle at the wedding” dance moves.  This man is a true performer and guess what?  He can sing!!! Imagine that!

Next on the very long agenda was a duet by Jordin and Reuben Studdard singing “You’re All I Need to Get By”. They sounded well together and Reuben showed why he was called the Velvet Teddy Bear.  Smooth.  “Teddy” was slimmed down in a pin striped suit and pink satin tie.  Jordin wore a pink dress to match. 

Did anyone catch Jennifer Hudson’s bored looking bouncing around?  What was that about?  I guess if it’s not all about her, she isn’t having any. 

The surprise guest of the night is Bette Midler.  She was not what I expected but a welcome presence singing The Wind Beneath my Wings.  I hate to say it but she sounded a bit strained.  I guess that’s because she hasn’t been on stage for awhile.  No matter, she is an all around star.

Before the results, Idol put on a tribute to Sergeant Pepper with Kelly Clarkson and Joe Perry kicking it off with “Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band”. Taylor Hicks was up next with “A Day in the Life” followed by a treacle version of “She’s Leaving Home” by Carrie Underwood.  Reuben Studdard closed the medley with “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” backed up by the Top 12 Idols.  The guys were dressed like Sergeant Pepper – sort of like Randy last night.  Maybe he was dropping a hint?  Afterwards all the finalists sang “With a Little Help from my Friends”, which was an appropriate way to close the show. 

AND NOW….what we have sat through almost two hours and many weeks to find out.  THE RESULTS!!!!!  Last night, Idol made a new world record with 74 million votes.  The judges were asked their final thoughts before the big announcement.  Randy thinks that Jordin will take the prize.  Paula was non-committal, as usual, and called them both winners.  Simon simply stated that “based on the last song…..Congratulations Jordin.”

The moment of truth is here. Dim the lights.  THE     WINNER   OF    AMERICAN     IDOL    2007   IS  (Insert long, dramatic pause here) JORDIN SPARKS.  Blake sent out a happy whoop for Jordin then shouted out his love to his mom and dad.  Jordin was completely overwhelmed and seemed incapable of clear or rational thinking or motion.  Shaking out of it, she thanked her family and all who voted for her.  Our newest Idol sang the sappy coronation song “This is My Now”.  A couple of times, Jordin was so overcome she could barely sing.  Her parents looked on with pride.   CONGRATULATIONS JORDIN!!!!

And to Blake…..GREAT JOB.  We haven’t seen the last of him, that’s for sure.  Remember that even the “runners up” kick some serious butt.  Look at Daughtry.  I know, I say that all the time.  But it’s true.  Blake handled himself with class and aplomb tonight and throughout the entire competition.

So this is it.  Now we are going to have to find things to do on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings.  At least until next January.

CONGRATULATIONS JORDIN AND THE REST OF THE TOP 10.  WELL DONE! 

Idol Recap: Jordin Sparkles and Blake hits his stride

The spotlight is on. Ryan Seacrest intones “100,000 down. Two to go. One guy, one girl and one last chance to win your vote. This is the night. This is your audience…….

THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL (and the crowd goes wild)

Ryan enters the ramp dressed for business in a pinstripe suit and tan tie. The Kodak theatre is packed for another battle of the sexes. A quick shout out to the judges reveals that Randy is doing his civil war re-enactment. Paula is channeling her inner child in black and white ruffles. On the other hand, Simon is sporting what Ryan calls “Simon cleavage” (probably inspired by Paula) in a black jacket and white shirt unbuttoned to…there. Paula’s nose didn’t look any worse for wear but I did see some tell-tale Vicodin eyes.

Next up was a video montage of both Blake and Jordin’s journey to Hollywood. The irony was mentioned that they both auditioned in Seattle AND the songwriting winners also came from Seattle. AFTER THE COMMERCIAL they tossed a coin, the winner choosing to go on either first or second. Blake won the toss and gave the prime second spot to Jordin.

The plan is that the finalists will sing one song they have not performed before, one song that they have already performed, and the song penned by the winners of the songwriting contests.

Blake Lewis

For the favorite song he’s already performed, Blake chose to go with “You Give Love a Bad Name.” This had to be MY very least favorite song he has ever done in the competition. I know that many disagree with me but I’ve known Jon for years and this is one of his ‘signature’ songs. It just doesn’t seem ‘right’ (to me) to muck it up like this. Blake is entertaining, I’ll give him that. Randy gave him a 10 on the beatbox but the singing was “just alright”. Paula feels he outdid himself. “A 10+10+10.” Simon says he’s not the best singer in the competition but one of the best entertainers.

For the new song, he chose Maroon 5’s “She Will Be Love”. This one was more up his alley but it didn’t do much for me. I think it was the song itself and not Blake. I liked the fact he didn’t mess with this song but, in this case, maybe he should have. I wasn’t blown away. His vocals were good on this one. Randy thought it was a great song and a very nice vocal. He likes it when he sings naturally. Paula thought he got into the ‘ease of the song’. Simon thought it was “good and safe” and “not as good as the last one.” He then commented that he didn’t think Blake should have chosen that song in the finale as it doesn’t make much of an impact. Again, it’s down to the song choice. Not for nothing, Blake is having fun.

The winning song from the songwriting competition, “This is my Now” was Blake’s last song. The songwriters did a great job on this song but it was a bit sappy. Blake did well on this one. No beat box, no vocal gymnastics. He kept it simple. Randy thought he did a ‘pretty good job’ but he “shouldn’t feel bad about it.” Geez, Randy that was sort of a backhanded compliment wasn’t it? Paula thought he did a great job. Simon thought it was all a bit odd and that Blake “looked a bit frustrated.” This was not his favorite music genre’.

Jordin Sparks

Jordin’s never done before song was Christina Aguilera’s “Fighter”. Christina is one of those on the “do not sing on Idol” list but Jordin did OK with it. Wasn’t her best performance but I loved the rock edge. And she hit those big notes. Randy thought her voice was ‘stellar’. Paula agreed. Simon, on a positive note, liked that she chose a younger song. But he thought the vocals were “shrieky”. He gave round one to Blake. Paula called it a tie. Randy gave the entertainment vote to Blake and the vocals to Jordin.

The song previously performed was Martina McBride’s “A Broken Wing”. I loved her softer vocals. You could feel the song. I thought she did this one better then she did the first time around during country week. Randy has loved her since day one and says she is the “most talented 17 year old singer I’ve ever seen.” “Flawless and better than the original.” Wow, better than the original Martina. Paula thinks she looks adorable and is “in great, great vocal voice tonight.” Simon very simply stated, “Now THAT was good”.

The last song of the evening was “This is my Now”. Jordin knocked this one out of the park and made it a hit. You could ‘feel’ the song and it was apparent that she did as well, with the teary, emotional ending. I liked it. I think that this is how the writers meant for it to sound. Randy thought she was the best singer tonight. “You are what it’s all about”. Paula thinks she has a lot to be proud of. Simon said that last week, he didn’t think she was good enough to make the finals but he admitted he was wrong. Wow, Simon admitted he was wrong. And he was. Then he stated that Jordin “wiped the floor with Blake on that song.” Sorry Blakers – I have to agree, even though I liked Blakes version as well.

After all was said and ‘sung’, Ryan asked the judges who they thought should win. All were diplomatic, however, Randy reminded us all -again- that this is a singing competition…so…. Jordin wins the night. Paula was noncommittal. Simon conceded that for performance, Blake took the first song but, based on the vocals, Jordin took the night.

Chris Daughtry closed the show LIVE with “Home”, backed by another video of Idol auditions. He is the reason why it doesn’t always pay to win the Idol title. Daughtry has outsold all of Season 5’s top three, including last year’s winner, Taylor Hicks. So…who has your vote? Based on performance, I think Blake won the first round (even though I really hated what he did to the song), while Jordin ran away with the second and third rounds. It will be close but I think the winner will be and should be Jordin. What do you all think?

IDOL Results: We sadly say Good-bye to Melinda. She’ll be the Chris Daughtry of Season 6

This is the moment of truth for the final 3. Who will make it to the finale? Bart Simpson, doing his best imitation of Ryan Seacrest does the intro……THIS IS – UH? DOH – OH – THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL (Is it too late to vote for Fantasia?). Better watch out Ryan, you have some serious competition.

A quick introduction of the judges shows Randy in a gray paisley shirt and a peep of his Hanes undershirt. Paula has raided King Tut’s tomb again and Simon was his usual ‘blah’ self in light gray. And a peep of chest hair.

Next up were clips of last night’s performances, which again highlighted the fact that Melinda did have problems with Whitney and Blake did not hit it off with Roxanne.

AFTER the first of many breaks, the producers made sure we all knew about the upcoming Idol Tour. I’m not sure that viewing clips of Sanjaya and Hoochie Scarnato will make for good ticket sales. Surely I didn’t run right out to get them. Well, maybe for Gina…….

The contestants are seated on the couches, talking about their trips home. Jordin was first, describing 24 hours of non-stop interviews, parades, dedications and performances. After that, it is back to LA and memorizing 3 songs by Tuesday. I never realized this before, but maybe this is why some decide to reintroduce songs from earlier in the season. One of the best parts, by far, was her reunion with best friend Bailey. The other was her performance of “I Who Have Nothing” in front of thousands. I was particularly impressed with her humility when she simply stated “Who am I to have this amazing experience?” Back in the studio Jordin was asked to stand up – the judges’ opinions of last night were read – …. “America voted…..you’ll find out how you did a little bit later.” No walk to safety just yet. OUCH. That’s reality TV for ya.

After yet another break, a quick audience camera shot showed Hoochie, Lakisha and Brandon watching the festivities. I wonder who they voted for? And now, the Idol challenge. On the screen were shots of: 1. Elliott Yamin; 2. Kat McPhee; and 3. Taylor Hicks – now the question. “Of these three finalists from Season 5, who was NOT in the top 2?” In the immortal words of Bart Simpson, “Doh!”

Up next is the homecoming of Blake Lewis. Again, there were bells, whistles and accolades to be had. And wasn’t that Jonathon Jayne in the audience? Glad to see his audition rejection hasn’t made him bitter. And the young girls sure do love Blake. You would have thought it was the Fab Four themselves waving at the crowd. I think I know who inherited the Fanjaya’s. After a mediocre version of the National Anthem at a Mariners game, it was back to LA to learn HIS three songs.

Elliot Yamin was next, singing his new song “I’ll Wait For You”  and he looked like a different person.  Sort of channeling the Shaggy Dog, but I loved the song and he sounded just as great as he always did.  The judges gave their usual critiques but Paula won the prize for the most eloquent (ala Elmer Fudd):
I, eb, eb, eb, I’m speechless.  I love you.

 

Elliott had nothing but good things to say to and about the contestants and predicted great things for them.   He encouraged them to be really proud of themselves and then thanked everyone who has supportd him.  Even Porsche.  Porsche?  I wonder how Ford felt about that little verbal faux pas.

AFTER another break — the Ford commercial set to Billy Squire’s “Everybody Wants You”.  A little off topic, but that was one good looking man in his day.  Whew.  OK, I’m back.  Forget what I said last week, THIS one has got to be the best one so far.  Great song and little Idol mini-me’s.

 

Next up was Melinda’s homecoming.  The governor declared it “Melinda Doolittle Day” in Tennessee, after which she travelled to her alma mater.  They even named a street after her – Melinda Doolittle Way.  Of course there was the usual frenzy of media appearances and autograph signings but the most overwhelming, by far, was her return to her church.

 

Of course, there was a recap of her performances but…..no results until later.

 

After yet another commercial….. more information about the band competition. No matter what you play, send in your videos.

 

Up next Maroon 5 are promoting their new CD by singing “Makes Me Wonder”.  It makes me wonder how they would have faired in front of the judges. I heard some real off-notes. Or is it just a shaky FALSETTO? Have I mentioned that I HATE FALSETTO? This is the first time I really listened to them…..they were OK I guess. I’m not really into that ‘dance vibe’ stuff but they were good for what they did. I see where Blake gets his influence.  If I didn’t know any better, I’d say the lad had an out of body experience.

FINALLY – the moment of truth.  All three are holding hands AND their breaths.  Jordin is the first one asked to step forward.  Ryan, serious as a heart attack, dramatizes, “Almost 60 million votes came in and I’ll think you’ll be happy with those votes.  You’ve made it through to the American Idol finale.  Jordin appeared to be in shock.

Who will join her? We all know it will be Melinda — but — WAIT!!!  SAY IT ISN’T SO….. NOOOOOOOOOO.  America has decided that this was the end of the road for her.  WHAT????  I really thought this was a SINGING competition and, evidently, so did Simon considering the look of utter shock on his face.  I wonder how that made Blake feel?

Melinda was the epitomy of graciousness while she thanked everyone and watched her Idol journey unfold.  She further showed her professionalism while singing her exit song “I’m A Woman.”

This just solidifies for me that Idol is not JUST a singing competition anymore.

No matter what happens, we have not seen the last of Melinda Doolittle.  I would like to bet that the moment she walked off the stage there was a big fat contract waiting for her.  Remember, last year is a classic example of the runners up making a bigger musical splash than the winner.  WE LOVE YOU MELINDA!!!!!

And speaking of Blake, he really has his work cut out for him. Who do you think all the Melinda fans will vote for now?  I don’t guess that it will be Blake.  Which will probably guarantee the crown to Jordin.  Rightfully so, since this is supposed to be a singing competition.  Why do I keep hearing Simon in my head???  Until next week…………

American Idol – The final three battle it out. Melinda is a woman and Jordin works hard for the money.

Well, another week has passed. Former Moral Majority leader, Jerry Falwell, has gone home to Jesus. Susan Stanton has travelled to Washington on behalf of transl-genders everywhere.

In the world of American Idol, however, nothing matters except WHO IS GOING TO BE IN THE FINALE? Let us take a peek, shall we?

The show makes its usual dramatic start. This time, the camera pans to the very nervous contestants backstage, who are preparing for the night’s festivities. “The final three have been home and received a hero’s welcome but who will stand on the stage at the Kodak Theater?” Tonight they fight for their place in the finale.

THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL.

Ryan entered in his usual blaze of glory. Whoops, wrong theme. A quick shout out to the judges showed Randy sporting what could only be described as a science project. I was reminded of the microbes I studied under the microscope in Micro-biology class. Paula was dressed in basic black, cleavage and a giant piece of coal on her left hand. Simon was in his usual gray. Just once I would like to see him in red.

May I note that this show stuck surprisingly to the point with very little filler – even though the Idols went home. THAT footage is surely being saved for the results show.

Jordin Sparks

Simon’s Pick ~ Wishing on a Star by Rose Royce. This, I thought, was a good choice for her and I liked her interpretation better than the original. Her vocals were strong and her delivery was on the money, considering she admitted to never hearing the song before. Randy thought it was a “very good vocal” and compared her to Beyonce’. Paula thought this was a good way to start the show and that Simon chose well. Simon felt it was a brilliant vocal but wasn’t thrilled with the “weird jazz arrangement.”

Producer’s Choice ~ She Worked Hard For the Money by Donna Summer. I think they had their head up their collective asses for this one. Not a good choice, although Jordin did do her best with it. This was not as good as her first performance but IMHO, she did the best she could with what she was handed. Randy thought it was hot and Paula felt she “worked hard for the money tonight.” Simon said it was a “very good performance.”

Jordin’s Choice ~ I Who Have Nothing. Like Kat McPhee before her, she resurrected the song that earned her the most “kudos” earlier in the competition. It was an incredible performance, although it didn’t have the same impact as it did the first time around. Again, like McPhee before her. All things aside, she nailed it. Randy called it the “best of the night”. Paula thought she sounded great, but Simon felt that although she sang it very well, he wished she had chosen a different song. Surprising, because this is the same song that earned her top accolades from him mere weeks ago.

Blake Lewis.

Paula’s Choice ~ Roxanne by The Police. Uh oh. Bad choice. To give Blake credit, he did do his best with it but it was not nearly finale material. Like Whitney and Celine for the women, Sting is one not to be attempted by the men. The whole thing fell flat for me, as did Blake’s attempt to be a rocker dude. Too contrived, I thought. Randy gave him and “A” and Paula loved it (anyone here surprised at that one? After all, he’s a MAN). Simon wasn’t blown away and said it wasn’t as good as the original. Duh. It was “good, not great.”

Producer’s Choice ~ This Love by Maroon 5. Much better choice this time. They did well. The song didn’t include any of the vocal gymnastics that would take a Melinda or Jordin to do justice to. This was Blake to a “T” and it lended itself well to the usual beat-box enhancements he is so fond of. My biggest complaint would be his outfit. Ick. Randy thought it had the “right vibe” and Paula felt he was in his element. Simon felt he sounded comfortable and “that was good.”

Blake’s Choice ~ When I Get You Alone by Robin Thicke. Another “Uh oh” moment for me. I do not like Robin Thicke. But I’ll give credit where credit is due: Blake did a good job with this one and I totally forgot about ol’ Robin. My biggest gripe, again, was his wardrobe. I’d LOVE to see this guy in a pair of tight jeans. Ah well.

Melinda Doolittle

Randy’s Choice ~ I Believe in You and Me by Whitney Houston.  This came as a shock as the judges, en masse, always warn against singing Whitney Houston.  The reason became apparently clear as Melinda started to sing.  This is the first time I’ve heard her struggle and fall short on some notes.  She still sounded good, but this was not her best.  Randy said she “blew it out the box” and Paula thought she was “fantastic”.  Simon admitted that this was a very difficult song to sing and that this was her best performance in the last 4 weeks.

Producers Choice ~ Nutbush City Limits by Ike and Tina Turner.  They hit the nail directly on the head with this one.  Not only did she “blow it out the box” -  she showed a personality she has never shown on Idol.   This is probably my favorite performance by her, bar none.  Randy liked it.  Paula LOVED it and Simon said it was “another brilliant performance.”

Melinda’s Choice ~ I’m a Woman.  Like Jordin, Melinda decided to resurrect a show-stopper from earlier in the season.  I’m not so sure that this was the right one to do.  As always, however, Melinda like the resident pro that she is.  I just felt she should have chosen something else.  Something new.  I did like the added bonus of the black corseted background singers, however.  Randy thought it was “hot” and Paula said she was “awesome.”  Simon loved the striptease and awarded her the prize for consistency throughout the season.

Some of the other show highlights included visits to their respective hometowns where Blake sang with Sir Mix-a-Lot, Jordin had a Hollywood replica star dedicated to her in the local mall, and Melinda had a street named after her.  All in a days work.

Vocal/Song Hits:  Jordin’s rendition of “Wishing on a Star”, Blake’s version of “This Love”, and Melinda singing “Nutbush City Limits.”

Vocal/Song Misses:  Roxanne.  What was Paula thinking?  Enough said.  I Believe in You – again, enough said.

Fashion Hits:  Melinda in jeans and funky jewelry.  Jordin’s peach dress with black lace (gorgeous!)

Fashion Misses:  Blake’s plaid and argyle.  There ARE other patterns out there.  Melinda’s gray stewardess outfit.  Bland and ill-fitting.

All in all, a very interesting evening.  It will be very difficult to pick the two for the finale.  All have their own unique strengths.  Each has an enormous fanbase.  Jordin has the widest appeal with both male and female voter.  AND she is – in my opinion – the most marketable Idol.  Blake definitely has the young female vote.  My only problem with Blake is that he tries so hard to be different that his performances sound the same.  Melinda is no doubt the strongest vocally but is not as marketable as Jordin.

Based on SINGING talent alone, I think the finale will consist of Melinda and Jordin.  Blake fans, not to worry.  We haven’t heard the last of him.

Until tonight………………………………….

Idol Results: Put a Fork In It, Disco is Dead. Blake is barely stayin’ alive and Lakisha is going home

The pressure is on.  Who will be exiting with Chris Daughtry ringing in their ears?

The show begins with Ryan in serious mode, dressed in his CEO best.  “Picture the eyes of the country watching your every move.  Imagine being cut after coming this far.  It is happening to someone tonight.  THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL.”

A quick shout out to the judges shows Randy sporting a silvery/grayish colored shirt while Simon is his usual stylish self in basic black.  Paula, on the other hand, was all cleavage and glitter.  And she was in Simon’s seat.  Hmmmmmm.

This week in the finals has usually produced a shocker.  All the judges seemed to be in agreement that last night was a difficult night.  And – sorry – boring (MY opinion).

A rehash of last night reminded me of why I found this week to be the most unentertaining Idol this year. Melinda was technically great but lacking in personality, Blake resorted to his usual gimmickry to mask his “eh” vocals, Lakisha was just OK, and Jordin, while she kicked butt on the first song and was clearly the best overall, her second number was less than inspiring.

Next up was Ryan’s “man on the street” interviews at the Farmer’s Market.  This is what he found out:  The older generation liked Barry Gibb and knew who he was. 
Depending on whom you asked, the winner was Blake, Jordin, Melinda, Lakisha or The Lakers.

Next was a build-up to this year’s Idol tour, which is fixing to be the biggest and best yet.  “Sanjaya: live on tour.  Lock up your daughters.”  Besides Sanjaya, you’ll be able to see your favorites from this year’s top 10.  That is, of course, if Phil isn’t deployed to Iraq or other places nobody should have to be. 

Pink is up next.  I don’t know a lot of her music but I plan on checking it out.  “Who Knew?”  I like her style and her sound.  Too bad it wasn’t live.

“You Really Got Me” into a Ford.  This was one of the better ones….mainly because I liked the song.  It WAS rather amusing to see the Idols running from crazed fans in a parody of what the Beatles and other bands went through in the early sixties.

Up next was my excuse to get up and potty my pooch and get a snack: the GROUP SONG in a tribute to Barry Gibb and the BeeGees.  Enough was enough last night.

Up next we get up close and personal on the couch where the 4 Idols are awaiting their fate.  Lakisha hope that if she is sent home, she’d remember the words to her exit song and not cry.  Melinda FINALLY realized that she had to bring more (personality) to the songs.  She considered the judges’ lukewarm reception to her performances as a “wake up call.”  Blake was reminded of Simon’s comments and asked if there was anything he wanted to say to him now that he’s had time to stew about it?  “Thank you”, Blake said.    Jordin said she had to “quick hurry up and pick the songs” because she only had a couple of days to learn the words.  “But it was OK.”

More filler is next with a preview of The Fantastic Four – Rise of the Silver Surfer, the moment of glory being the appearance of Jessica Alba. So now we learn more about OUR final four:  3 of 4 are only children – Melinda, Lakisha and Blake.  Melinda was the inventor of the “afro puff.”  Blake admitted to having  “awkward years.”  Lakisha used to talk too much in school (me too) and Jordin said had to be put between 2 file cabinets in order for her to pay attention.  And here’s a big surprise:  Melinda couldn’t “ruffle any feathers.”  The emotions were kicked into high gear.  Finally, the RESULTS!  Ryan walks over to the contestants and says, “We have waited long enough but – NO – AFTER THE BREAK.”  Why is that Ryan?  “Because the network says so.”  (But I was jusssst following ordersssssss).  Besides, it makes for good dramatic reality TV.  They’re young, they’ll get over it.  In the meantime the poor kids’ insides have turned into a molten acidic mass of nerves.  But they’ll get over it.

Tuning in after the break finds the 4 finalists in a group hug. Ryan reads the judge’s impressions of the performances before sending Jordin to safety. Now the rest of the group has to wait until we hear about the newest American Idols gimmick:  finding the best undiscovered band in America.  For anyone who has ever picked up a guitar or banged the drums, send your DVD to The Band Show Castings….And now, without further adieu, please welcome the multi-faceted Barry Gibb singing “You Don’t Know What It’s Like – To Love Somebody”.  It sounded like he was having some trouble ‘pronounciating’ the words (remember Diana Ross’ addition to Webster’s Dictionary?).  I took this time to put in a load of laundry and fold the few in the dryer.

FINALLY, after the break Melinda is quickly sent to safety.  Randy is put on the spot by Ryan who asked him if he had an idea as to who was leaving tonight.  While he cleverly avoided answering the question, he did concede that it was a tough night for both Blake and Lakisha.  Simon simply cut to the chase and said he thought Lakisha would be the one serenaded out by Chris Daughtry.  Paula was teary and babbled many words of encouragement.  The moment of truth…dim the lights…after 45 MILLION votes – Blake is (insert dramatic pause here) – SAFE!  Lakisha will be leaving tonight and yes, I teared up along with her during the exit video.  Ryan thanked her for that shot of Simon in lipstick…”we’ll always have that.”  One of Idol’s classic moments.  Lakisha didn’t forget the words to her exit song.  In fact, if she had performed this well last night, Blake would be the one beat boxing his way home.  So, Blake remains the only rooster in an extraordinarily talented henhouse.  Can he keep up with Melinda and Jordin?  As we bid a long awaited FINAL FAREWELL to disco week, we are left with the ultimate question.  Who will we see in the finale?  My money is on Jordin and Melinda.  What do you think?

Idol Recap: Who will be “Stayin’ Alive?” or Disco is Dead, let it rest in peace

This has certainly been an eventful week. Tornadoes have devastated half of the midwest. Lindsay Lohan was allegedly caught snorting coke in the bathroom of one of her many stops on the barhopping circuit. Paris Hilton, our favorite (HA!) famous-for-doing-everything-that-doesn’t-involve-REAL-talent celebu-slut is going to be spending 45 fun-filled days in the care of the California penal system.

And to top it off, it’s disco week on American Idol. Can you get excited about that? Oh no, I sound just like a Mary Kay Sales Director. That’s ANOTHER blog.

So pull that white leisure suit out of mothballs, shine up the gold coke spoon and hang that mirrored ball. Get ready for a little trip down memory lane – back to a time where the self-proclaimed ‘beautiful people’ flocked to a place called Studio 54 and caught Disco Fever.

Luckily, I was immunized.

The top 4 feel the pressure. 30 million Americans are deciding their fate with three girls and only one guy.  Who is headed to the finale?  THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL!!!!!!

Ryan Seacrest entered looking like a banker than a disco duck. No white polyester here.  None of the judges fed into the disco boogie theme either with Randy in blue chambray and chains, Paula in black and white, cleavage on full alert and her weight in pearls wrapped around her neck. Simon managed to join us in a plain white tee, tan and a peep of chest hair.

Barry Gibb is the mentor of the week.  This is a man whose career spanned 5 decades (didn’t realize he was that old), with 7 Grammys, 30 albums, 6 number one hits in a row to his credit.  He has also written and produced for Barbara Streisand, Celine Dion and Diana Ross.  He revolutionized dance music and defined a generation.

Each contestant will sing two songs tonight (two songs of disco….oh joy).   Will they take advantage of his years of experience? 

My first thought was “what happened to this guy?”  I realize that he has to be at least 60, but how much plastic surgery has this man had?  He could barely open his mouth to speak let alone be understandable.  He was still trying to work the hair but long and gray just doesn’t have the same effect.

Melinda drew the short straw to open the show.

Melinda Doolittle – Love You Inside and Out.

At first, Mr. Gibb was ‘confused’ with Melinda’s choice as the song is a falsetto (Ugh, I HATE FALSETTO’S).  Her goal was to ‘take a song originally done by a group and make it work as a solo.’  First of all, Mel is dressing younger these days but I spent the better part of this song trying to figure out why she was wearing jeweled sweatbands around her wrists. 

As usual, she sounded great but that “it” factor called personality was missing. It was a technically great showing – but nothing special.  Randy thought it was another solid performance although he “wasn’t jumping up and down in his seat.  Paula finds it hard to critique her because her vocals are always spot on. Now we should be looking for the WOW factor.  Simon felt that with only four people left he “expected incredible tonight” and that “it was more of a backing vocal performance”, but he knows she can do better than that.

After the break, the camera panned to an audience shot of Haley Scarnato.  I couldn’t help but think that if – and I mean IF – she had made it this far, she would be performing in nothing but stiletto’s and holding a huge fan made of feathers to strategically cover her female parts.

Blake – You Should Be Dancing

This was Barry’s “dance anthem” of the 70’s.  Our mentor says that the beat boxing really suits this song and Blake gets to show off that ability. Geez, after massacring Bon Jovi with that stuff, I’m totally over it.  His outfit left me wondering if he got dressed in a dark closet, although I’m glad he ditched the plaid for a change. 

I didn’t like it.  The high singing made it sound like his nuts were caught in a vice (which is why I HATE FALSETTO SINGING).  The beat-boxing really did nothing for the song, contrary to what Mr. Gibb had claimed. Randy felt likewise – it just didn’t work tonight.  It made it ‘corny’ for him.  Paula conceded the pitch was off but “he did show why he is unique.”  Down Paula!  Simon thought it was ‘absolutely terrible.’

Lakisha – Staying Alive

With the high falsetto of the song (did I mention that I HATE FALSETTO?), Barry felt it presented challenges.  He told her she should go ‘up’ and that he liked her slower version.  That’s good because nobody else seemed to.

She looked hot tonight, with the exception of the capri’s.  They just don’t work well with heavy calves.  I wasn’t a fan of the original and my opinion didn’t change much.  One thing in Lakisha’s favor, however, is that she took the ‘disco’ out of it.  I didn’t mind the slower tempo, to be honest.  Randy said it was “weird” for him and changing the tempo just didn’t work.  Paula felt she took the tempo down too far and that it didn’t make you want to dance.  Simon summed it up with the statement, “no kiss tonight baby.”  He remarked that she was back to the shouting and the performance was verging on scary.  “Not great tonight so far.”

Coming back AFTER YET ANOTHER BREAK, Jordin finds herself on the chair with a viewer question:  “What did you learn about yourself during this whole Idol process?  She learned she can handle a lot more than she thought she could.  And get A’s and B’s in school.  You go girl!

Jordin Sparks – To Love Somebody

It was hard for Barry to picture a girl singing this song, but after hearing her sing said that he knew of a “couple hundred people have sung this song but I haven’t heard a greater version than Jordin’s.” 

Jordin appeared wearing a dizzying patterned dress over jeans (when is THAT trend going to just go away?) and straight hair.  I agree with Mr. Gibb on this one – the song sounded better than the original to me.  This girl is on fire. Randy thought is was the best vocal so far, very nice and very controlled.  Paula thought she looked beautiful and agreed that it WAS the best vocal so far.  Simon gave her “best song choice, best vocal.  We’re back in the competition.”

AFTER THE BREAK….Ms. Doolittle takes her turn on the chair for a viewer question who wanted to know what the first tape or CD she ever bought was?  After clarifying it was a tape because “I’m a little older”, she said it was Michael Jackson’s BAD.  This was Michael Jackson before the total collapse of his nasal region.

Melinda – How Can You Mend A Broken Heart?

Barry could find no criticism except wondering why Mel decided to change the lyrics. She took out the line “how can a loser ever win?” because didn’t want to sing about being a loser on American Idol. 

Mel was dressed for the convent in monochrome gray with a peep of white. As usual, her vocals were great but I just didn’t see the ‘it’ factor of personality until the end when she kicked it out.  It was, however, better than the first song.  Randy thought so, too, again calling her the ‘resident pro’.  Paula managed to get out “a beautiful vocal”  but wants her to throw technique out the window and show some personality.  Simon thought that the second half of that song put her into the semi-finals.

Blake – This is Where I Came In

An obscure song that even Barry was shocked he chose.  Blake said that “it’s the Barry Gibb most people aren’t familiar with.”  No shit.  So that means he can screw it up or ‘Blakerize’ it to his heart’s content and we’d never know the difference.  Clue about the song choice:  Barry had hoped the song would be a hit – but it wasn’t.

 

Blake was the complete ‘anti-disco’ in an argyle sweater and baggy pants.  That outfit almost made me wish for the white leisure suit and 8-inch platforms.  I don’t know what this was supposed to sound like, but it sounded like the usual outcome of what he puts through his computer program.  I really wish Blake would stick with just singing.  I’m beginning to think that he beat boxes to cover up with fact that his vocals do not stand out.  As Jon Bon Jovi commented last week, “this is a singing competition.”

Randy thought it was better than the last one but let him know that the beat boxing was getting old.  Amen.  Paula thinks Blake is the contemporary rebel in this competition.  Paula didn’t know the song either but liked him singing it.  She’d like anything sung by a man, even if he was wearing a chicken suit and clogs.  Simon didn’t know the song either and called it “completely tuneless”, doesn’t know why he chose the song and commented that he did not have a good night.  He finished up with “a really weird, bizarre choice of song.”

Oh no, Judge Judy is in the house. Simon’s evil twin who decided to get in her 15 minutes of Idol fame.

Lakisha – Run To Me

Kiki chose this because she thinks it is a beautiful ballad.  Barry said she had to take up the challenge of changing key twice in the song. An interesting challenge that he believes she will rise to.

This was definitely better than the first song.  Her dress was beautiful and flattered her figure.  She chose well this time and sang it well.  It was a little rough at the end but it was – I thought – a good performance.  Randy thought it was better than her first time out and Paula doesn’t think she should beat herself up because she is still the champ.  Simon conceded it was “better than the first song but not great.” 

He thinks her and Blake are vulnerable tonight.  So do I.

Jordin – Woman In Love

This song was most memorably done by Barbara Streisand.  This could be a problem.  It is always a problem to overcome the memory of strong voices such as hers.  Barry feels that Jordin is going to become one of our greatest female recording artists.  High praise, indeed, coming from one who has worked with Celine and Barbara.

She looked gorgeous in a long blue gown and simple, straight hair.  She kept is soft, yet strong.  I heard some problems on the big notes and she seemed to have taken over where Haley left off with the over-the-top arm movements:  DC-10, coming in for a landing. Randy didn’t think it was her best, “pitchy all the way through”, but conceded that it was a hard song to sing.  Paula didn’t think it was her best.  Simon thought it was old fashioned and pageanty.

After watching a recap of the night’s performances, all I can say is this:  Thank God Disco Is Dead!!  Tonight did nothing to warrant a resurrection.  Lakisha and Blake are the ones who will be white-knuckling it on results night.

Thank God disco night is over. 

 

Paris Hilton sings Jailhouse Rock

Well, the verdict is in…….Ms. IamrichandentitledsoIcangetawaywithdoingwhateverthehellidamnwellpleaseand tohellwithit is going to spend 45 days in jail. Paris Hilton is actually being held accountable for her actions and forced to pay the consequences for those actions.

How does it feel to be treated like just about everyone else on this planet?

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against rich people. Matter of fact, I admire those entrepreneurs who start with nothing and become successful beyond their wildest dreams. That will be ME in the near future.

I do, however, have an issue with those who are born to it and live with a sense of entitlement that they are heads above the rest of us. AND above the law.

I know that there are those who will say that Paris isn’t like those people because she works and earns her own money. Let’s look at this, shall we? Everything that Ms. Hilton has earned and every opportunity she’s had has been a product merely of her shooting down the birth canal.

Does anybody really, truly believe that Paris Hilton would have recorded a CD, gotten air-time on the radio and M-tv, starred in her own reality show or be given thousands of dollars merely by showing up at different clubs and restaurants if she wasn’t her oh so la-di-da privileged self?

I’m not dancing a jig of glee knowing that Ms. Hilton is going to spend 45 fun-filled days in the big house. It is probably the only way for people like her to learn her lesson, such as it is. Fining her would do no good. That is chump change to her and an easy way out.

I am, however, happy to see that there is a judge out there who couldn’t be bought, is not in awe of fame and fortune and treats everybody the same under the law, no matter who they are. Good for him!!!

What does suck is that Paris will find a way to turn what should be 45 days of reflecting on the fact that she is not above the law into a financially profitable venture.

The bottom line is this: nobody is above the law, no matter how much money, power or prestige they have. It may serve Ms. Hilton well to learn a bit of humility and eat some humble pie.

Maybe next time she’ll hire a driver.

Idol Results: Phil went out in a Blaze of Glory and Chris was NOT Wanted Dead OR Alive

Last week we played nice in the name of charity. The votes are in and two are out. Who will they be? THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL.

Another audience shot of Antonella Barba. Is she staying in town to meet with Hugh Heffner, I wonder? Ryan enters, dressed ultra CEO corporate in monochrome brown. I guess Don Johnson wanted his inner child back. He promises that although the show is a full hour, there will be no filler. Yeah, right.

A quick intro of the judges revealed that Randy made up for last night’s lack of BLING by wearing his weight in rhinestones. Paula was the epitomy of bad taste wearing head to probably toe mustard brocade, a rhinestone lariat around her neck (to rope yourself a man, perhaps?) and pounds of fake hair. Simon was his usual fashionista self in light gray and chest hair. Chest hair – one of the greatest accessories.

The judges seemed to be of unanimous mind when they conceded that rock night was a complete success. Randy thought everyone stepped up their game, Paula blubbered and blathered something alluding to Blake’s performance, and Simon gave his top marks to Blake, mainly because he took a risk. Notice he didn’t say he liked it.

Next came a rehash of some of last night’s performances. I finally got to hear Jordin’s remark: “I took over where Sanjaya left off with the hair.” This was basically a reminder of the good, the bad and Blake (I can’t even classify that mess).

Yawwwn, more man on the street stuff from Ryan at the Farmer’s Market. Let’s talk to the great unwashed. The comments were about what you’d expect. Movin’ on.

Ryan went over the contestants for a Q & A period. Blake said that he brought a computer program where he puts the songs into to “mash them out”. Can you arrest a computer for premeditated song slaughter? Jordin conceded that this just was not her week. Phil admitted that he wasn’t allowed to listen to rock music growing up because his dad was a pastor……of a church. Uh, okay. Lakisha was asked what kind of a kisser Simon was? “Gooood, I’d do it again.” My personal opinion is that Simon would much prefer that the lips (any lips) be firmly attached to his keister.

Reminder the lines for Idol Gives Back are still open. Ruben Studdard gave a PSA asking for more donations.

Then more filler consisting of 5 second celebrity backslapping for those who participated in last week’s show. We were also treated to another resurrection of Elvis. Ho-hum.

Next we break to a telecast performance by Robin Thicke. He’s no Marvin Gaye, that’s for sure. I will reiterate: I HATE FALSETTO’S. This guy sounded like he had his entire nether region stuck in a wood chipper. And why don’t the producers stick with the weekly theme and use an act of that particular genre’?

AFTER THE BREAK the Idols Paint it Black in the Ford commercial; a Fellini-style circus theme which would send anyone with a fear of clowns running for the nearest Valium bottle. Blake was right out of Dawn of the Dead as a white-faced barker, while the rest of the cast just seemed a bit creepy. My dog hid under the bed for this one.

After plugging the songwriting contest: 25,000 entries with the top 20 to be voted for on americanidol.com, we FINALLY get to some results. Drumroll pleaaaazzzze…..

Front row: Melinda, Phil and Lakisha. Stand up Melinda—SAFE. Let’s get the easy one out of the way first. Next Phil and Lakisha stand up. After a dramatic pause, Lakisha is…..SAFE. Phil is on his way home. I’m surprised yet not surprised. If he was sent home 4-5 weeks ago I’d have packed his bag, however, he’s finally shown what he is capable of. Too much, too late, I’m afraid. He just never developed that fan base in the beginning. So, we watched his Idol journey to the tune of “I’ll Stand By You.” Leave it to reality TV for the melodramatic. Phil went out in a Blaze of Glory and he worked my pet peeve – the exit song – for all it was worth. He shook hands with the audience and stood with his navy buddies. Then he planted a kiss on his wife and finished the song hugging the remaining contestants. I’m proud of him. He’s come far considering the total lack of support he’s had throughout.

Again, we have more living proof that it pays to enter the Idol contest. The question: where did the six Idols go for a visit this week in the FORD COMMERCIAL? Gee, could it have been the circus???? The Laundromat???? A Carwash??? I’m insulted that the producers must have thought I’ve lost my marbles in the mere space of 10 minutes.

MORE RESULTS!!! Who is going to join Phil? “Jordin, Chris and Blake – stand up.” They aren’t messing with Jordin again this week. “Sit down, you are safe.” Which leaves Chris and Blake to sweat their balls off for the next 20 minutes or so.

Next is the panty-dropping performance by Bon Jovi singing (You Want To) Make a Memory. He can still rock it and so can the rest of the band. Even after all these years, Jon still makes me want to lose another fingernail (yesterday’s recap). No, Jon didn’t want to predict who would be going home. Good answer.

We are now down to the wire. Blake and Chris declare they are BFF’s and would gladly trade places with each other. No matter who is going home, our boys are gonna tour together. Maybe we can mold them together into one huge Blake Timberfake. OK, my bad

Dim the lights. After over 135 million votes Chris is going home leaving Blake to beatbox his way through Boogie week. He is serenaded out the door by Chris Daughtry and teared up a bit during the video. He’ll be fine he says.

Unfortunately, his exit song reminded me AND my bottle of Afrin just why he is being sent on his way. Guess Lauren Conrad will have to find another boy toy to take to Tenjune.

Next week it will be “boogie sounds” with Barry Gibb. Sigh – more disco. Maybe someday the producers will have “headbangers and moshers” week with Metallica or “80’s hair glam” with Motley Crue. I could see it. Until next week…………

Idol Recap: Blake gave love a REALLY bad name and Jordin is living on a prayer

This should prove to be an interesting week – Jon Bon Jovi mentoring the kids who are performing his songs. I am personally acquainted with Jon – and I LOVE his music – so this week is high on my “watch” list.

I’ve spent the better part of the last couple of days trying to figure out who would pick what song. I definitely see Melinda and Lakisha leaning toward the ballads. Be honest, can you see Mel getting into “Bad Medicine”? She may be technically on the mark but somehow I can’t see a connection between Melinda Doolittle and 80’s pop hair music. Lakisha either.

Jordin, I think, may do well – but it will depend on her song choice. Phil may surprise us all again. Since his recent success with the country sound, I can see him trying “Who Says You Can’t Go Home”. This is a song that Jon performed with Sugarland that is high on the COUNTRY charts.

Blake will more than likely do either “Wanted Dead or Alive” or “Blaze of Glory”. I picture him in that ‘old west’ type of vibe. But a caution: these songs do not take well to beat-boxing. Chris will also more than likely take on a ballad, although I’d really like to see him try “Runaway”.

Will the kids go out in blaze of glory or will the songs go down like bad medicine?

Last week there was a sigh of relief as one by one they heard they were safe. But this week, two of them have to go. Who has the chops? THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL!!!!!!!!

New Jersey native Antonella Barba was in the audience in support of her fellow New Jersey-ite, Jon Bon Jovi. Gina was also there, probably wishing she were on stage to rock out. Sucks that she had to sing standards and disco when all she wanted to do was rock her heart out. Gina, remember this: Chris Daughtry.

Ryan enters in a halo of light (why haven’t I noticed that before?), dressed all in black with no tie and a shirt button undone. Don’t forget the stubble. Evidently he is channeling his inner Don Johnson.

A BIG thank you is sent out for the donations last week for Idol Gives Back. Our donations, together with those of the corporate donors, raised almost 70 million dollars. That is a lot of food and medicine for those in need, no matter what anyone says.

A quick introduction of the judges revealed a rather sedate Randy wearing a blue button down; and a very conservative Paula who is making up for last week’s over-exposure. Simon is back to his basic blah, er black. Had it not been for traces of sunburn, he might be mistaken for the Prince of Darkness.

Next is a retrospective of Bon Jovi’s career. I remember attending many of those concerts. This was back when rocker guys looked hot AND sounded hot. There were none of the head-shaven, shirtless, sweaty and goatee’d demonic screamers that are out there today. Take note: Over 3,000 concerts played to over 40 million fans in over 50 countries. He’s sold over 120 million albums. AND STILL GOING STRONG TODAY!

Here is an off-topic funny. Waaaaay back in the day, after Runaway took off, Jon and the boys played a large club in upstate New York. After the club closed, Jon, Tico and David were hood ornaments laying on the hood of my friends’ car, hanging on to the windshield wipers for dear life as we sped along the main strip of town at 4 a.m. A couple of years later, I lost a Lee Press-on fingernail in his now-famous mane of hair. Don’t ask.

Jon, along with keyboardist David Bryan, practiced around the piano. Jon’s advice? Be sincere in the delivery. Make the songs your own and “wrap your arms around the lyrics.”

Phil Stacey – Blaze of Glory.

Phil is stoked. “Holy Moly, I’m jamming with Bon Jovi.” He even admitted he used to stand in front of the mirror singing this song into a hairbrush (hairbrush? Phil?) In the practice, Jon said that Phil just knocked this one out of the ballpark, “nailing every single note like it was on the record. He entered walkinv through the audience, not really working the crowd by focusing on the song. I really hate to say this but for the first time I felt those goose-bumps J-Lo was talking about a couple of weeks ago. He hit this one “out of the ballpark.” I don’t care what anyone says, Phil really IS a good singer. Once he got that shot of confidence, he’s just gotten better. The hair stood up on the back of my neck. Randy, after reminding us all that he played bass on the original, said that this was Phil’s “best appearance ever on the show” and “that was da bomb.” Paula called it “the best opening we’ve had all season long.” It was most definitely memorable. Simon thought it was just “OK”, that he “didn’t hear any authenticity”, the middle “was like a bad actor playing a role”, followed with the admonishment that Phil hadn’t done enough to last next week.

I usually agree with Simon, but not this time. IF Phil does leave us on Wednesday, he will not be leaving on a bad note.

Jordin Sparks – Living on a Prayer

Jordin was nervous and said “oh my gosh my mother is going to flip out”. She’s the one who introduced Jordin to Bon Jovi and his music. Jon acknowledged that her song was a hard one to sing and that they had to work on the melodies a bit, BUT said he couldn’t sing that well at 17 YEARS OLD!! (Do you hear that Randy?)

Jordin came out rockin’ Gina’s red highlights, skinny jeans and yellow pumps and accompanied by a guitarist and bassist. I love Jordin but this was not her night. She was weak on the verses and screamed some on the chorus. The main thing I noticed was that she was really uncomfortable with the genre. I give her kudos for not playing it safe with a slow song but maybe this was the time she should have.

Randy thought it was “interesting” and acknowledged she is not a rocker. Paula gave her credit for going for it even though it was a bit out of her range. But ended it with “Your hot!” Simon said her look was like something out of the Addams Family and the singing verged on shrieking. While he conceded that she was at a massive disadvantage being given guys rock songs to sing, he ended with “It was terrible to be honest with you.”

I love her. I love her attitude. She takes criticism for what it’s worth and with the proper humility. “This was my week to have trouble”, she said. Based on tonight alone, she’d be in trouble but thanks to combining votes with her performance last week, she’ll be around for the finale.

After the break, Lakisha is with Ryan for a viewer question but refused to sit down so she could “show her slim side.” The question: “What kind of training have you had before the show?” The answer was that she had no training other than singing in church.

Lakisha – This Ain’t a Love Song

Kiki admitted she only knew of Bon Jovi from what she saw on Oprah and had never listened to his music. Huh? She found the ‘soul singers song’ and Jon is glad she found the track. This is her time to shine and Mr. Bon Jovi will bet money that she isn’t going home this week.

She looked hot AND slimmer in tight black jeans and black strapless top. The red lace defined her shape and drew attention to her, ahem, assets. Jon was right…….this was a great song choice. She really put raw emotion into it. What I liked was that she didn’t try to “rock” it. She just sang it. Randy cheered that “Lakisha is back” and that he loved the way she sang at Simon like she had something to prove to him. She started rough – pitchy – but by the middle she “blew it out the box”. Paula thinks that bottom tone of her voice is your “money in your pocket” and she gave it “sumpin, sumpin.” Simon: “Lakisha, I could actually kiss you after that.” AND He DID. He loved that she rose to the challenge and absolutely nailed it. She did.

Blake – You Give Love a Bad Name

Jon said it was an “adventurous rendition.” He has to “sell his interpretation of a song that a lot of people know and don’t want messed with.” In other words, “don’t f&*$ with MY song”. Blake concedes he is taking a risk. Jon feels that Blake is really rolling the dice. Then he said, and I quote: “Sixteen measures of him not singing on a show that is supposed to highlight singing makes me wonder.” Me too.

First of all – the look. The wannabe rock star get-up did not work well with the grandpa pants. I have to close my eyes. I have to give the kid credit for having monstrous cojones, but it was horrible. I HATED IT!!!!! The only part of the song that he sang straight was the chorus. The rest was an unidentifiable mess of beat-boxing, as well as electronically-induced noise. He rolled the dice and threw craps on this one. Sad, but there are some of those that will actually like this drek – those who hate rock music and those who think that Blake is God. Blech!!! Randy gives him the award for the most original version of a song ever on Idol. Paula thought he really put himself out there and that it was “Blake’s night.” Yeah, he’s a MAN, Paula. We get it, so slide your fanny back up into the chair. Simon said half the audience will hate it and half the audience will love it and this is what will keep him in the competition.

What am I missing? I’m certainly not that old. Maybe I’m a purist but I don’t think Jon’s original can be improved upon. Period. End of story. If it was up to me, Blake would most definitely be one of the two watching their Idol journey tonight.

Welcome back. This is Ryan Seacrest with Justin Timberlake for a viewer question. “What do you tell yourself before you walk out on stage in front of millions? At a loss for words, Chris Timberfake answered “just have fun.” Two things: Since the contestants know the question well in advance, WHY did he blunder and blubber his answer? Also, Chris, if you are going to roll your eyes at the mention of the Timberlake comparison –STOP TRYING TO LOOKSINGDRESSDANCE LIKE THE MAN.

Chris Richardson – Wanted Dead of Alive

This is one of Bon Jovi’s best known songs. Jon called singing this song a “daunting task” I guess it was because the kid couldn’t remember the words to save his life. When asked what he could do for his performance, Mr. Bon Jovi simply said to find the “blue note” and “sell the emotion.”

Backed by a screensaver that resembled an ameoba on acid, Chris had a rough beginning. It is evident that he is NOT a rocker and Daughtry’s version last year was much better. He didn’t find that “blue note” or many of the other ones either. Of course, it was nasal. Oh, and Chris - the white belt has to go. Give it to Blake. It goes well with his grandpa pants. I was not thrilled with this one. It was better than I anticipated – definitely better than Blake’s – but I really was NOT crazy about it. At least he respected the song and the artist and didn’t dick around too much with the melody. Randy thought it was “nice.” Paula doesn’t think he has anything to worry about. Simon thought he did as much as he could possibly do with the song but doubts it is enough for him to stay another week. Me neither.

Melinda – Have a Nice Day

Last, but certainly not least, Melinda has her time with Jon. She tells him she is soooo bad at rock and that she is just learning. He thinks he can teach her because she’s already “got the soul and the pipes” – she just “has to own it.” And “bring it to church”. Our Melinda loves church. Oh — love them “rock on” horns.

This woman can sing anything and she DID bring that soul to the table. Even though she seemed a bit self conscious rocking out, she gave her most animated performance to date. She even played off the musicians. I am so GLAD it wasn’t a ballad and that she took a little bit of a chance. Randy didn’t think it was her best performance but it was definitely a great one with a little “Tina Turner attitude.” Paula thinks Mel is a rock star and Simon agrees, stating that she resembled a young Tina Turner and was “vocally in a different league from everyone else.”

Before the rehash of the night’s performances we are treated to a telecast of President Bush and his wife shouting out a special thanks to all Idol viewers and all the celebrities for their generous support of Idol Gives Back. Even the prez is a fan.

Based on MY opinion, I’d send home Blake and Chris. BUT, since my thoughts and the general publics are decidedly different, Phil and Chris or Lakisha may be leaving us. Jordin, for the first time, may be in some danger, but last week’s voters will keep her in.

For now, I’ll just wait in anticipation for the live performance Bon Jovi. Until then……………………..