AMERICAN IDOL – THE TOP 12 FINALISTS BRING IT ON!

THE TOP 12 FINALISTS BRING IT ON! Guest mentor is superstar Diana Ross, whose career has spanned over 40 years. That lady still looks hot. I hope I look that good at 60+. What a coincidence that former Idol contestant Jennifer Hudson won an Academy Award for the movie Dreamgirls. After the parade of former Idol winners and their accomplishments, the camera panned to the very large audience. First thing that caught my eye was a sign with Chris Sligh’s photo on it with the words “FRO PATROL”. Gotta love it.

AMERICA, HERE ARE YOUR TOP 12 CONTESTANTS. Ryan Seacrest – in DIRE need of a fashion consultant that isn’t colorblind – introduced, one by one, the very nervous contestants.  All of them looked like they were in immediate need of a potty break.  Think the little stage was bad?  Get ready for the big kahuna.

The judges looked cool, collected and ready for 2 hours of “all Ross, all the time”.  Randy wearing a shirt that looks like it was made of a pair of old boxers. Paula’s cleavage was on full alert and her hair extensions were primped and sprayed into place. Don’t light a match – please. Simon ditched his usual Prince of Darkness black for a plain white t-shirt that was very Stanley Kowalski (for those who don’t know….male protagonist in “Streetcar Named Desire” – read the book. Or, better yet, watch the movie. Brando was HOT as Kowalski).

A short interview with Dianna, the diva herself, in which she states she really enjoyed her role as mentor. “I am not a critic”. She wants to be a “trusting voice” and wished all the contestants success on Idol and after Idol.  This Dianna was a  bit of a surprise considering her past drama of DUI’s and rehab, as well as abusive behavior and diva-like meltdowns.  Wow, this could be Nicole Ritchie, Britney Spears and Naomi Campbell rolled into one.   So when the lady herself appeared, I was pleasantly surprised at her lucid, humble graciousness.

First up on the big stage was Brandon with classic Dianna Ross, “You Can’t Hurry Love.” He started out very slow. Ouch! Bad note there. Ok, getting better. Damn…forgot the words. I sooooooo want this guy to be good. There is something about him. But if he doesn’t do something drastic, he’ll be forever relegated to the background.   His clothes even screamed “BACKGROUND.”  The judges seemed to share my opinion. Randy – “This is the start of the future for everyone. You did not come out like you wanted to be out front.” Paula was her usual diplomatic self but proclaimed the performance boring. Simon called it a “let down” and “predictable” and then the biggest UH OH, prediction of doom, “You came over as a background singer for a background singer.” That was one helluva a beating from the judges.  Will Brandon be here next week? There is a chance as we have Haley and Sanjaya still in the game. But it’s a crapshoot at best.

Was this uninspiriting performance a portent of things to come?

Melinda Doolittle in the dreaded interview chair.   Ryan asked her a viewer question – “What do you consider to be the hardest part of all this?” She replied it was wearing the high heels and the dresses; that her tennis shoes and sweats were much more comfortable.  With the exception of the gorgeous dress she wore last week, her wardrobe has seemed rather painful.   Simon alluded to Ryan’s always questionable sexuality when he answered Ryan’s “Any advice on the high heels, Simon?” with “You ought to know Ryan.”  Ryan continued to lose the verbal exchange with the admonishment to “Stay out of my closet”, whereby Simon quipped, “Come out”.  Fait accompli.

Melinda sang “Home”. Diana said it gave her goose bumps. I’m not very familiar with this song but this girl kicked some serious ass. That last note gave ME goose bumps. At the end of the song, Melinda was in tears and I have to admit, so was I. Randy said it was not his favorite performance but still great. Of course it was great. Paula was moved to tears but that is a weekly event.  The hole in the ozone moves her to tears.  Simon asked Melinda why she was crying. She says she’s never heard anything like that out of herself. Then he remarked, “You made a very boring song fantastic” and the greatest compliment, “You remind me of a young Gladys Knight.”

Following Melinda is never an enviable position.  Chris Sligh chose to sing “Endless Love”….with his own twist. His chit chat with Diana centered around hair. How they share hair and how does she make hers go “out”? (can you say “wig”?)  Chris’ beginning scared me at first and further into the song he really did sound like Coldplay. Not my favorite performance from him although he did appear to be comfortable on the big kahuna.  Maybe he removed is signature glasses so the audience would be a less-intimidating blur.  Randy thought it was a mess while Paula thought he worked too hard to be hip and that he should just let it flow.  Simon thought he murdered the arrangement, calling it “unemotional and uninspiring.” He ended his commentary with “keep your glasses on – I think it’s you.”  No, he didn’t sign his ticket home but…….

Gina Glockson was next and star struck about meeting Diana Ross. Her song choice was “Love child.” Dianna told her to “Pronounciate everything.”  (Pronounciate – newest word to be entered in Webster’s – mixing ‘enunciate’ with ‘pronounce’.  I guess when you are Dianna Ross, you can make up new additions to the English language).  And she did. To me, one of her better performances but the judges felt otherwise. She looked like she was having a great time. Randy felt she was boring and Paula felt like she’s much better than what she showed tonight. Simon was non-committal: “It was OK. It wasn’t terrible. It wasn’t fantastic.” He called it a “middle hat performance.”

Sanjaya, there just ain’t no mountain high enough is there?   If there was, we’d all be on it.  Michael Jackson copied Dianna Ross so I guess Sanjaya will follow in his footsteps.  Sorry, but it’s not going to help.  In their mentoring session, Dianna told him to “get his soul in there.”  She also liked his spirit…said that he has ’something’ and that “it’s not his hair.” Again, maybe it’s that affinity with Michael Jackson. It was a very tepid beginning to the song and it didn’t get any better. I’ve heard him sound worse but this really wasn’t very good. The judges did not like it. Randy says “Dude, it wasn’t very good. Thank God for the background singers.” But on the upside, “The hair is rockin’”. Paula struggled not to break his spirit so she claimed she can understand why Dianna says he’s pure love. But he has to “jump out with his vocals”. Simon made an obscure reference to “hearing a wail (whale?) in Beverly Hills” but explained himself by saying that Dianna will scream when she hears what was done to her song. On a positive note, however, Simon commented that he was “very brave”. NOW FOR THE BREAK.

To expound on Sanjaya for a minute.  This kid really doesn’t suck.  It is just that compared to some truly powerful voices, he just fades into obscurity.  The kid needs to find his own identity; his strengths.  At the moment he reminds me of what you would get if you threw Michael Jackson and Ace Young into a Cuisineart.  Maybe in a few years………………

Haley Scarnato is next.  She upped the ante with her appearance but is it enough?  There is a subtle “McPhee vibe” going on here.  Makes me think that she “may” just be able to pull this off.   Because of her cabaret, over-the-top style, I expected  a song fresh from the Disco era but she chose “Missing you”; “because of the emotion.” Dianna remarked that Haley has a recording studio voice, rather than a live voice and that she “keeps it inside.” The song started out wayyyy too low and breathy but it actually turned out quite well.  For her.  I still have to say that the over-the-top arm gestures make her look like she’s waving in a DC-10. Randy remarked that “you already know what I’m gonna say don’t you?” (translate:  “you suck”).  Paula thought she looked great (always a precursor of doom)  BUT had pitch problems and committed that cardinal sin of forgetting the lyrics. Simon tossed her a bone by stating he didn’t think it was that bad. “To give you credit, Haley, we will remember you now. You had presence out there.” High praise, indeed, from the Prince of Darkness.

Ryan sitting with his Nanna intones, “It’s the most emotional show to date.”
Phil Stacey is next. What? No Hat??? I’m proud of him….he’s finally come to embrace the dome, although NOBODY does bald like Chris Daughtry.   Dianna liked the song he selected as it was a song she sang with Marvin Gaye. Her solution for stage fright: “Look at the audience. They are just people.” The song “I’m Going To Make You Love Me” was a good song choice for him. He came out stronger than usual and kept up the pace.  His stage presence was less awkward and he looked more comfortable out there (well, as ‘less awkward’ as a tall, gawky bald person can be.)  Randy gave him 2 “YO’s” and “the boys vocal award for the night.”  Paula needed for it to be more up-tempo. Simon claimed Paula was wrong and that he did choose the right tempo but he needed to try to control the shouting when trying to hit the high notes. “I felt you were screaming in my ear.” An added bonus for the “awwwwwww” factor: a huge poster of with a picture of Phil’s new baby and the words “I’m voting for you daddy” on it.

Lakisha chose the song “God Bless the Child”, originally a Billy Holiday song from the movie Lady Sings the Blues. Dianna suggested she wear long simple dress and commiserated on the merits of using a mikestand as opposed to just holding the mike.  She sounded awesome, reining in her strong voice for a controlled bluesy – yet powerful sound. She looked beautiful in her simple white satin gown. Randy: “Wow.” “Sensational”. “Unbelievable vocal. Didn’t over sing it.” Paula: “You’re a beautiful performer and beautiful girl.” Simon: “You have either got it or you haven’t got it. And you have got it.” He then compared the quality of vocals of her and Melinda to those of the other contestants. Outstanding!

Blake Lewis wanted to put a modern spin on a Motown classic. He claimed he wanted to bring “You Keep Me Hanging On” from the 60’s into today. Ms. Ross was looking forward to seeing what he was going to do with it. He hopes she really likes it. He used his vocals without the beatboxing. I wish he would do that more. He put Be-bop spin to the song and didn’t really hit the falsetto.  It seems to me like everything he does is sounding the same.  Randy thinks he should stop worrying about “Blake-izing” every song. Paula feels that sometimes you have to just leave the classics alone. Simon didn’t get it at all and that he didn’t do justice to his vocals.

Stephanie chose the Disco classic, “Love Hangover.” Dianna suggested she ’sex it up a bit” and thinks she has ’star quality’. She had a strong start and put a bit of Stephanie into it. The problem is she took some of the ‘Disco flavor’ out of it.  Where was that ‘dance vibe’?  Sounded more like the usual lame ballad crap to me.  Randy thought it was a good vocal but not necessarily the best. He kept waiting for that up-tempo.
Paula also mentioned the lack of up-tempo. Simon thought she teased everyone with the good part but never came through. She absolutely chose the wrong song and was outsung by Lakisha and Melinda.

Chris Richardson said kept waiting for Dianna to stop him and say it was horrible. She told him to find the hook and work it – and the audience. He chose “The Boss” and when he entered the stage, he reminded me of a Vegas lounge singer. I expected to hear Tommy Newsome from the “Tonight Show” in the background. He didn’t really show his vocals well and was a bit nasally. He did, however, work the crowd well and got right out there in the audience. Paula was dancing. Randy said it wasn’t his favorite performance and that he “sort of oversang.” “Half good, half bad for me.” Paula thought that out of all the guys, he was the most successful in ‘bringing the contemporary in’. Simon thought it was dreadful and reminded us, yet again, that this is a singing competition.

AFTER..THE..BREAK.. Jordin Sparks chose “If we Hold On Together.” Dianna reminded Jordin about her projection and stated that she exhibits star quality – an inner light. She looked gorgeous. I loved the song. She was just incredible. Randy said it all, “You just made it a 3 girl race with Lakisha and Melinda. Impressive.” Paula called her “a breath of fresh air” and “beautiful.” Simon felt it was a little bit “gooey”, but that it was a “very, very good vocal.” He told her she “absolutely put herself in a shot of being in the finals.”

After yet another love shot for the sponsors, we were treated to a recap of all the performances. This just reiterated just how incredibly b.a.d. some of them were.  You could just hear another nail being hammered into the coffin. Somebody has to go….who will it be? Again, I’ll fathom a guess and say it will probably be Brandon….although it SHOULD be Sanjaya. Who can tell what will happen as America has proven herself to be fickle AND tone deaf.
Tomorrow, Dianna Ross herself will perform.  Will it be a Supreme performance? Until tomorrow…….