American Idol – Or “Bad Boys…whatcha gonna do?”

The guys are back and this time it’s personal. They have alot to prove. The “theme” of personal dedications emits an “uh oh” vibe that says pure sap. After last week, these guys cannot do sappy. They have to be smokin’. They have to be hot………so let the games begin. First up is our favorite chrome dome Phil Stacey with a dedication to The Navy Band Southeast. My brain somehow wanted to hear a chorus of “Anchor’s Away”,  however,  Phil chose to sing John Waite’s “Missing You.” I really like this song but it sounded a little blah to me. Like something was missing. Randy disagreed. “That was HOT man. You’re showing your power”. Paula agreed with Randy. “Every week I’m hearing how great the tone of your voice is.” Simon, ever the bitch (hehehe), agreed with me. “I’m not jumping out of my chair” Booo Hissssss from the peanut gallery. “I think you are very popular.” “Unoriginal voice.” “A very, very good karaoke singer.” But he conceded, “You aren’t going anywhere. You’ll be back next week.” A great play on patriotism will work every time. And he does have a good voice but he just doesn’t do bald like Daughtry.

After the first of MANY, MANY plugs for the sponsors, Ryan is on the famous red Coca-Cola couch with Sundance and A.J. He questioned Sundance, “What were people saying over the weekend after being on the show and being featured last week.” Sundance replied – very honestly – “They said for me not to be so crappy.” LOLLLLLL. I will say one thing, the man has some honest friends. He WAS crappy last week and in order to stay, he has to stop being crappy. End of story. A.J. was asked the same question. He replied that he had “mixed emotions” and that “the judges were fair” (c’mon, is he going to say they suck? Maybe after he gets cut but not now) and that he “needed to redeem himself.”

Jared was next, with a dedication to his mom and dad. He said he was going to listen to Simon’s admonishment of last week to “be more adventurous” so he was going to do “Let’s Get It On” and “channel Marvin Gaye by wearing a suit.” One of my personal favorites. Brings back some horny teen-age memories….but I digress. The performance was just OK. He was more spirited than last week but what the hell was that hand melting down the face routine? And dropping to the knees? Despite the smarmy theatrics, it still lacked something. The judges appeared to reach the same conclusion with Simon summing it up by saying “I’m glad you made the attempt but….It did remind me, though, of the Love Boat”.  Little A.J. was next with a dedication to – big suprise – his parents. Truthfully, I didn’t recognize the song so I don’t really know what it was supposed to sound like. The beginning was not too promising and I was about ready to take a quickie potty break but then he kicked it up a notch and ramped up the tempo. I actually ended up liking it, although it was not nearly up to par……BUT better than last week. Truthfully, most of them could have just stood up there tonight and farted the “Star Spangled Banner” and have been better than last week. Will it be enough to stay another week? A big maybe. What may be his downfall is the fact he went second – too many good ones after him for him to be remembered.

Sanjay…..sweet little Sanjay. I’m afraid this may be your last week. Personally, I liked him tonight.  Let me rephrase that – I liked the way he took a chance and stepped out of the box. His dedication was to his grandfather and his song “Steppin’ Out With My Baby”. Dressed in a fedora, pony-tail, and big smile ala Michael Jackson, Sanjay sang his tribute to the golden age of music. Last week he was told to take chances. This week he did — but it went over like a lead zeppelin with the judges. Randy: “this was really weird for me; like a bad high school talent show – like you borrowed your Dad’s hat. It really didn’t work for me, dude. It was not good.” Paula, ever the diplomat, “You were in pitch, no one could say pitchy because you were in pitch.” Very good Paula: one long, completely coherent sentence. Simon agreed with Randy. I give the kid credit for trying. I don’t think he’ll last beyond Thursday unless he ekes through with the teeny-bop/granny vote. IMHO. Chris Sligh was next. Everyone’s favorite smart-ass. Ryan brought up hair tips and Chris, pointing to his very unruly curly locks, stated that they (A.I. hairdressers I assume) “put in gobs of conditioner and just let it sit.” His dedication was to his beautiful wife Sarah who he says people would wonder how he coerced her into marrying him. C’mon Chris, many women look beyond the exterior. Besides, a sense of humor wins out hands-down. His song “Trouble” was a perfect choice and it showed off his kick-ass, rich voice. He put a different twist on it than Taylor did last year but that was the point — he made it his own. Simon summed it up, “Chris, the reason we put you through to this round is actually we thought you were a very good singer. And tonight you were a very good singer.” He was.

Nick Pedro’s dedication of “Fever” to his girlfriend Kaitlyn was stereo-typically sappy. He did look more comfortable and less constipated than last week. All in all, the song was just OK for me and the falsetto’s – fuggetaboutit. Never liked them, even when they’re done well.  Ace Young, last year, the falsetto king…voted off….get it?  Michael Jackson is just not one you want to emulate.  The judges – overall – liked his performance but said it lacked charisma. Duhhhhh! Blake Lewis’ “Virtual Insanity” was just that — insane. But in a good way. Every time I see this guy I like him better and better. The skat he added to the middle of the song was smokin’. I have one complaint – lose the hat. It was reminiscent of a mushroom. Randy was right on when he said “I like you man”. So do I. Simon was disapppointed in him this week. Sucks to be you Simon. Brandon didn’t take last week’s critiques to heart and performed a boring “Time after Time” dedicated to his grandmother. The sentiment created a great “awwweeee” moment but the performance was lame. Maybe he’s really more comfortable in the position of back-up singer. Brandon did not show what he has vocally. He sold himself waaaaayyy short this week. “You have got to come out here, Brandon, when you are as talented as you are, and do what 4 or 5 of these girls did last week and make a WOW impact. All this ‘I’m feeling it’ nonsense doesn’t work.” Simon has such a way with words. Chris Richardson dedicated his song to grandma or “Big Mama” as he calls her in Virginia. “The Geek in the Pink”. Perfect choice and the perfect sweater to show off his geek side. Nothing like being fashion coordinated – even if you do look like a perfect dork. Kidding aside, he was good. As Randy says, “Chris is in it to win it tonight.” Yup…he’ll be sticking around for awhile.

Sundance Head. Great audition. HORRIBLE Hollywood week. “Crappy” night last week. Truthfully, it is a miracle he is still in the running. Even he thought so. Until tonight. WOW. Maybe he needs to dedicate songs to his son Levi all the time because tonight he kicked some serious ass. Mustang Sally. Hell Yeah!! That raw, bluesy sound was back with a vengeance and he blew his audition out of the water. Hot damn he was good. His chin pubes even faded into the background because I could focus on the song. Randy: “Oh yeah Oh yeah Oh yeah. Wow. Wow. Wow. What a difference a week makes, man.” Simon: “I’m glad we got the Sundance back we really, really like.” AMEN to that.

So there you have it — The Men. Who will stay and who will go? If it was up to me to decide, I would send Sanjay and Nick home on Thursday. But who can tell what America will do? Last week they voted to keep Antonella Barba on what can only be the merit of her internet performance, not her American Idol performance. Hmmmmmmm, we shall see. Stay tuned…………………….